We can’t go any further unless… y’know. I’m really sorry.’ She clears her throat, keeps her eyes down. ‘No worries,’ she says. She will shatter if not handled gently. ‘Not ayyy problem. Can I give you the stuff… after?’ You pull your shirt over your head. She pools herself for you, little waves raising her hips. She strokes her rippling breasts. You add her nipples to the photo album you store inside your skull. You mash and roll and tease your body until part of it emerges, a blade you stick her with, you bite her chin, squeeze yourself inside her and she pulls her feet away from her ears, stretching one foot toward each side of the room, and you hold one twitching pectoral over each of her eyes and grunt and use your pelvis to push her against the wall, counting the thrusts until you’ve hit 200. Tears leave her face shiny. She reaches for her inhaler and cigarettes. You roll onto your elbow, your coughing, shivering penis leaving a glaze on her hip. ‘I need a couple hundred by. ‘Tim used to call me ‘Love-’em-‘n’-leave-’em Luke’.’ He winced slightly. ‘With good reason. I really couldn’t tell you just how many women there were. I didn’t sleep with them all but I slept with quite a few. Mostly just the once. I’m certainly not proud of it now, but if I’m honest, I guess I was at the time. It was like a game. To me, anyway. I doubt the women saw it that way.’ ‘Some of them probably did.’ He gave me a rueful smile. ‘Don’t go trying to make this easy on me, babe. There’s no question I was a self-centred, egotistical bastard.’ ‘But you said you weren’t a bastard,’ I said, suddenly finding I wanted to make light of his words, struggling to cope with the images that were already flashing into my head. Luke, in bed, with girl after girl, making love to them the way he’d made love to me… ‘You said you were a tosser, not a bastard. You said that you knew who your parents–‘ ‘Becks.’ His eyes softening, he reached forward and took my hands between his own, squeezing my.
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